Week 3

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How do you recognise the signs of Spring? Daffodils, lighter nights and morning to many Spring means Detox or internal cleansing so the clinic is busy with those who want to clear out the old and put in the new. If you have never considered detoxing or doing a cleanse it is not as difficult as you may think as long as you set realistic goals and plan ahead. Everyone can detox my suggestion is that you start with a One Day Lemon detox which stimulates the liver and cleanses the colon.

Prepare one sliced lemon, add 1 pint of water and place in a liquidizer. (Use the complete lemon, skin, pips etc)
Strain and discard the pulp.

Add five pints of water, a total of six pints.

Commence the detox around 8am.

Drink one glass of the mixture every fifteen minutes for one hour.

Followed by one glass of the mixture every 45 minutes until the mixture has all been consumed.

If you start the detox at 8am it will be complete between 3 – 4pm.

You may eat a large salad at teatime but this is optional.

This is an excellent preparation for people who suffer from chronic constipation.

It is an excellent preparation for colonic hydrotherapy, by softening and loosening the stools.

Thank you to those who have supplied me with your terminology for F***ting to date pumping is the favourite followed by trumping a lovely one which is a children’s favourite is Pop Pop. Please keep them coming in. Have you heard of having a whizz? Thanks David.

What do you think of calling my Blog THE CRAPPER CLUB? Please let me have your thoughts.

If you are a believer in the healing properties of herbs and use herbal products you will soon discover that your favourite herbs will no longer be available due to E.U. legislation, which is banning the majority of herbal products from being manufactured. From the 1st May you will see them disappearing from the shelves, herbal websites will cease and those who are brave enough to carry on will run the risk of prosecution and even jail. Under the pretext of making herbs safe and bringing them into line with the restrictions that pharmaceutical drug companies have registering their products. They are putting independent herbal manufactures out of business.

Herbal manufactures are not opposed to being regulated in promoting safe practice it is the expense involved any herbal complex that contains a mixture of herbs can cost up to £40.000 which makes it too expensive to continue manufacturing.

It is a great shame that this is happening as we all know that the side effects are minimal compared to the amount of people whose lives are effected by the terrible side effects that are associated with pharmaceutical drugs. Ironically the main force behind the E.U. legislation is the Drug Companies themselves who are loosing revenue as the herbal movement continues to advance and we are buying herbs instead of relying on pharmaceutical medicine.

Sorry I am passionate about herbs as they work with the body and bring the results with out the side effects, have you ever heard of anyone having to take another herb to counter act the effects of an other herb I don’t think so. You know what I am getting at. Statins can result in muscle pain and depression, aspirin along with lots of other medication results in gastric problems, so then antacids are prescribed, to alleviate gastric problems.

Another major issue is that they are taking away your right of choice, as the herbs just will not be available. Please check out the following web site and join the campaign to save our herbs.

http://www.anh-europe.org

THOUGHT OF THE WEEK

Three essential elements of happiness are something to do, something to love and something to hope for.

Till next week

Take Care

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Week 2

So what kind of week have you had? Have you broken the rule and farted in public? If you have did you feel liberated or disgusted. One place that I don’t promote you to LET OFF is during a flight. You must have experienced the disgusting smell that is omitted; its normally on long haul flights and then you try and work out who is the culprit. Have you heard the saying those who smelt it dwelt IT IS NOT TRUE it’s a myth. At some point I will explain why the expelled gas can smell so bad, its bad bacteria and fermenting food more on that in the weeks to come.

I want to ask you to contribute to my Blog by sending me words that you use to describe farting, as I really hate that word. I have been asking my clients the words they use so I have quite a collection, which I will share with you over the coming weeks.

Whilst you are sending in your pumpy words can you also tell me how often you have a poo along with what you call pooing `I have some crackers to share with you.

Why would anyone want to write a Blog relating to Poo and Bowels? As I explained last week I want to promote a healthy awareness of the workings of the bowels but I want to make it humorous and entertaining whilst challenging you to personally to promote your own health and bowel awareness to others WHY because as a nurse I have seen the consequence of what happens people do not seek medical help when the warning signs are there.

Whilst many people live life to the full after having a colostomy ( a procedure that bring the bowel out on to the surface of the skin and the bowel then empties in a bag rather than on the toilet) this has saved many peoples lives as the diseased bowel is removed.

But would it not be a hundred times better to prevent this happening? Early detection of bowel cancer has a high success rate. Do you know that there are 106 new cases of bowel cancer diagnosed every DAY in the U.K. and colon cancer is the third most common cancer following breast and lung cancer.

My Granddad George died of bowel cancer although it was a long time ago and I was only young it had an impact on my life I remember hearing him screaming in pain refusing initially to go into hospital, Grandma was upset too as she tried to nurse him at home. I went to see him in hospital just a few days before he died it was awful he was thrashing around the bed in so much pain. Of course today we would not have had to endure so much pain as there has been a major breakthrough in pain relief since the 70’s.

Later my Grandma was telling others that Granddad had been passing blood for a long time and was taking Indian Brandy which helped with the discomfort he was experiencing.

WHY did Granddad not go to the Doctors? I believe he was in denial that it would go away, or he was too embarrassed to go to the Doctors it sounds crazy in this day and age but does it!!!!

In the clinic I still see those who have major digestive problems they try every remedy in the book and at a last resort come to me often before seeking medical advice from a G.P.

So that is my mission to educate you in the art and craft of bowel elimination

DID YOU KNOW

In ancient Japan Public contests were held to see who could break wind the loudest and longest. The winner received praise and recognition.

There is such a difference between families as to how they acknowledge Farting in their homes. Some people never ever do it in public and the children grow up thinking it is not acceptable to break wind; this can lead to so many problems both physically and psychologically. To the other extreme where families hold competitions like mentioned in Japan where the winner receives a treat.

What’s your thoughts please let me know.

Emma had just moved in with her new partner everything appeared fine as she explained what he had bought her for Valentines Day. Pretty underwear didn’t ask the colour. But in the next breath she said that she keeps going back to her mother’s house when she needs a POO !in case she makes a smell. What is that all about I presumed they were sexually active so they would see each other’s bits and bobs but the bowel thing was out of limits so to speak. People never fail to amaze me.

JOKE OF THE WEEK

Everyone farts admit it or not Kings Queens Politicians even high court Judges. Edward Lear the 19th Century landscape painter told the story of renowned Duchess who gave dinner parties attended by the cream of society. One night she let out a RIPPER, as quick as a flash she turned round and glared at her butler Hawkins stop that. Certainly your Grace which way did it go!!!

Going to sign off now would love to hear from you

Windy Ripper


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Diary of a Colonic Hydrotherapist – Week 1

It sneaked out no negotiation between mind and body, there was no delete button to press it just happened no chance of erasing it. The auditory and olfactory senses kicked in. firstly the auditory as it ripped through the silence quickly followed by the aroma it imparted.

Sitting there I realized I had two options to sit there and wait until the room cleared or at least to listen for my fellow diners to leave or to flush the loo and venture out. I deliberated this was harder than deciding what to eat what to wear. Was I ready for this challenge could I leave the cubicle and be identified by others as the Farter???

Taking several deep breaths as the smell had subsided I whispered a Mantra You can do this open the door you can do this open the door.

Opening the door I walked straight towards the sink avoiding any eye contact with anyone I washed and dried my hands and left the ladies toilets to return to the restaurant table. I felt absolutely liberated I was on a high the feeling you get when you achieve a goal or passing an exam whilst there will be no certificate no recognition in writing I had Farted and owned it instead of sitting in a toilet cubicle until I was sure everyone who heard it had gone.

My experience as a colon hydrotherapist has enabled me to discover that the majority of people have a fascination with poo and bowels., but it remains a taboo subject together we will explore many of the myths. By following my weekly blog we will explore issues relating to digestive problems in relation to health, the psychology behind the action with maybe a bit of anatomy and physiology thrown in. Along with some case studies of both the serious and humorous side of defecation.

The above will hopefully empower you to come out of your comfort zone and FART in public when ever the need arises. I recommend that everyone joins The Freedom Farting Club so until next week.

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